A Woman Left Alone
by Tollgatekeeper
Summary: Quistis Trepe has always been out of the spotlight. This is the story of her sudden decision to change her life, for better or for worse.
1. Chapter 1

**My first Final Fantasy VIII fic. I don't want to say much about it before you read it, so I'll just say I've included some extra stuff after the story's finished!**  


* * *

A Woman left Alone

The alarm was sounding, its shrill cries bouncing off the walls in the confined space, the clock rattling slightly on the wooden table next to the bed.

Quistis Trepe, former instructor with a current hangover, groaned in exasperation and silenced the clock by stretching out a slender arm and thumbing the "snooze" button down roughly.

Her head ached painfully, but she grumpily conceded that after last night's drinking it aught to. She rolled over onto her back, and finally opened her eyes slightly and stared up at the ceiling of her small room, her brow furrowed with worry.

This is how her day normally started, but usually without a hangover. She would waken, and would then lie unmoving in her bed for a while, trying to get herself motivated to get up.

Though lately it seemed to her that she was spending more and more time lying there each morning, unwilling to rise.

She sighed, thinking ruefully that you knew your day was going to be bad if you had already had enough of it even before you got out of bed.

Her eyes were suddenly drawn to the billowing curtains in her room, and she noticed that a strong sea-breeze was wafting in; the Garden must be once again flying over the sea.

She sat up in bed and collected her glasses from her bed-side table, putting them on without much thought; just going through the motions.  
More awake now, and with her head still thumping, she got out of bed and crossed her small room to the bathroom en-suite, and removed her glasses momentarily to splash her face with water. She felt truly awful, and she hoped that it was only the alcohol's effects, but suspected that it wasn't.

The sad thing was, she reflected while having a quick shower, letting the water massage her neck gently, that she hadn't even been partying last night. Of course, she never partied, but it just made it all the more sadder when you're alone and you're chugging back shots, she thought tiredly.

Out of the shower now and dressed in her usual pinkish skirt and top, she fixed her hair while studying herself in the mirror, grimacing as she noticed she looked even more pale then usual. Her light blue eyes stared back at her, and she found that she couldn't look at herself for long, and spent the rest of her time in front of the mirror with her eyes fixed on her hair, away from her face.

She did her hair so that a long, thick strand of it hung down both sides of her face, going down below her shoulders and resting on the front of her body, and left the bathroom.

The traveling, hulking school she was in lurched suddenly, but Quistis had grown used to its sometimes erratic movements, and simply pulled her slanting belt and knee-length boots on quickly and left the room, figuring that the sooner she went out, the sooner she could come back and crawl into bed once more.

* * *

Her first stop for the day, as always, was the school cafeteria, an airy, pleasant room shaped in the shape of a circle, with a rounded enclosure to one side where the students bought all their food. Most of the students living at Balamb Garden received all their money from the school, and since the cafe had a monopoly on the food supply business it was a good way for the money to be recycled right back into the hands of the Garden. 

Quistis stood in the short line that had already formed and ordered a black coffee from the plump service lady once she had reached the counter. She nodded her thanks, picked up the saucer and cup carefully, and headed over to an available table that was tucked away behind a large pillar, surrounded as all the other tables were by small potted trees.

She kneaded her head gently with one of her knuckles, closing her eyes momentarily. When she opened them again she got a shock to see a small, pleasant-looking girl wearing a black dress and matching black uniform -clothing most instructors wore- standing in front of her table and beaming down at her.

"Gee, Xu! Give people warning if you're going to do that!" Quistis snapped, partly because she had jumped skittishly and felt stupid about it.

Xu giggled, taking no notice of her friend's tart behaviour, and helped herself to a seat at the table, sliding a tray bearing fruit and coffee into the middle of it.

"Still on a diet, then?" Quistis asked unnecessarily, leaning forward and taking a grateful sip at her coffee.

Xu inclined her head. "Got to watch the figure!" She said happily.

Quistis rolled her eyes, even feeling annoyed by Xu's cheerful behaviour today.

"Xu, you're perfect as you are," she said, in the tone of one who has had to repeat the same thing many times previously.

Her friend shrugged and started eating a banana, and Quistis studied the girl.

The two had known each other for a while now, and she was Quistis' best and only friend, apart from the gang from the orphanage that she had helped defeat the sorceress Ultimecia with. The two girls were such polar opposites that occasionally people wondered how such a friendship could exist, but Quistis knew that they weren't all _that _different, really.

Sure, she thought, Xu was a lot more cheerful and easy-going then she would ever be, but she had also seen the girl boss people around and give orders in a manner so stern that it surprised her. At one point the two had both been instructors together, which had served to strengthen their bond further.

"So," Xu asked, raising an eyebrow coyly. "What did you get up to last night?"

"I drunk myself into a stupor...Alone." Quistis immediately said, not feeling like side-stepping the issue.

Xu slammed her fist into the table angrily, causing the cups to rattle and making near-by students turn their heads in alarm towards them.

"What?" She snapped, as if Quistis had just said the worst thing possible. "Did I hear you right?" She went on, leaning forward. "Remember how I told you I knew a cute guy who wanted to get to know you? Because _I _remember! I remember writing down his room and phone number onto a piece of paper and handing it to you, and telling you to go meet someone new and have a good time!"

Quistis remained silent, sipping at her coffee. She had been expecting this, so she decided to just let Xu vent.

She was still talking: "Did you even _look _at that piece of paper?" She demanded, stabbing a finger in the air towards Quistis.

"I glanced at it." Quistis admitted.

"And then what? You threw it out?" Xu asked.

"I threw it out, yes."

"If we weren't in the cafe I would so scream right now, you know that, right?" Xu said, glaring at Quistis.  
"Yes, I suppose you would," Quistis sighed, suddenly feeling drained.

Xu sat back and gave Quistis a look of concern mingled with pity.

"Quistis...how many times do we have to have this conversation? You're depressed, we both know that. You need to get out there and meet someone, you know...get a life. Doing nothing but study all day can't be good for you." She said, holding Quistis' eyes with hers.

"Thank you, mother," Quistis mumbled, but went on quickly because Xu had drawn in a breath to keep lecturing her: "Yes, I know you're right. But I can't just...just _throw _myself at someone because I'm feeling down, okay? I don't have sex just for the sake of it."  
"Other people do," Xu said, somewhat sulkily.

Quistis' blue eyes flashed dangerously, and Xu held up her hands in defense.  
"Hey, you know I'm only trying to help!" She said. "I thought it would be good for you to get your mind off a certain someone."

"I don't think about Squall in that way anymore." Quistis said, hoping her face wasn't burning. "He's just a friend, and he's with Rinoa, and that's the way it's always going to be."

Xu leaned forward conspiratorially, her expression smug. "That's not what you told me last week," she teased.

"I was drunk then!" Quistis snapped, loudly enough for the whole cafe to hear.

She stood up hurriedly. "I'm going to the library, okay?" She said icily, and walked away from the table, trying to ignore the looks she was attracting from the students.

"Aww, don't be like that Quisty!" Xu pleaded, but Quistis left the cafe without a glance back.

* * *

Sitting at a desk in the middle of the library, Quistis tried to calm herself down. She knew she had been too short with Xu, who was really only trying to help and be a friend, but it bugged her that Xu was right about everything. 

Squall would always be a secret desire for her, and it pained her greatly that nothing could ever happen between her and him. She had suspected she didn't have a chance with Squall even _before _Rinoa had come into the picture though, so she had always been prepared for the rejection. It didn't stop it from hurting, though.

She sighed, pretending to read through a book on spells while her mind dwelt on her problems. She had been going through a downward spiral since after they had defeated Ultimecia, she knew. Her mind went back to the big celebration that had been thrown for them at the Garden, and she remembered looking around the room at her friends and seeing the relationships that had sprung up.

Selphie, so energetic and playful, had formed a relationship with Irvine, the womanizing cowboy. Even Zell, the loud-mouthed ball of energy, had found someone to love in a girl who worked in the library, and of course Squall had Rinoa.

She was the only one alone. Truthfully, she had _always _been alone, so she should have been used to the sudden isolation, but it had hit her hard. She had tried to get over it, and get on with her life, and at that point she discovered that she didn't _have _a life. She didn't want to go back to being an instructor, had no interests to keep her occupied, and had seen enough of the world.

Looking unseeing at the book in front of her now, she suddenly felt so empty. And the worst part of it was she couldn't really open up to anyone about it, apart from Xu. She had always found it hard to tell other people what she really felt, and more often then not ended up pushing people away, so really this was all her damn fault, she thought.

That's why she had felt such a connection to Squall. He had been so _awkward _and shut-in, keeping his guard up and not allowing anyone close to him.

Quistis had known exactly how he felt, and had longed to be the one to hold him in her arms and teach him how to open up, but in the end it had been Rinoa to do that for him.

_Oh god, _Quistis realised with sudden alarm, _I think I'm about to cry._

She knew that she could not allow herself to burst into tears in the middle of the library, so hurriedly she stood up and made to leave, to run back to her room and shut herself in, but something stopped her.

_Oh no. Not now..._she pleaded, as who should walk in to the library at exactly that moment but Squall himself. She looked around wildly, preparing to do something drastic like dash in between the bookshelves and hide, but Squall had already seen her, and was walking towards her.

She wiped at her eyes behind her glasses quickly, making sure they were dry, and put on a smile that felt fake to her as Squall nodded a hello.

"Hello," she said politely. "What's going on?"

"I've been looking for you, actually," Squall admitted, and Quistis worriedly wondered why.

"We haven't seen you in ages, so I wanted to know how you're going," He said.

Quistis noticed how much more comfortable and confident Squall was with himself now, and reflected that it was mostly Rinoa's doing. She suddenly felt a pang of jealousy towards her friend.

"Oh, I'm okay." She said, waving a hand. "Pretty busy now days."

_Yeah, right. Maybe busy coping with hangovers, but not much else! _She thought cruelly.

Squall nodded. "Yeah, I know." He paused, and Quistis could tell he was about to say something that made him feel awkward.

"I'm not good at this sort of stuff, but...have you been _okay _lately? Nothing bothering you? You've seemed a bit sad and not yourself lately, so I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help?" He said, and it half-sounded like he had been rehearsing what to say.

_No, there's nothing you can do to help. You especially, Squall._

Quistis flashed him a smile. "I've just been worn out with work, that's all. Sorry, but I was sort of leaving when you came in...I have to be somewhere." She said apologetically.

"Okay. I want to see you again soon though," Squall told her.

Quistis nodded and waved goodbye, trying to walk away from him calmly and like she hadn't a care in the world.

_But if even Squall has noticed how bad I'm getting, _she thought as she power-walked hurriedly back to her room, _then it must mean that I've sunken down even further._

_

* * *

_After calming herself down in her room for a bit- she didn't allow herself to cry- Quistis decided to forgo her usual day of studying and classes, and on an impulse headed into the Garden's Training centre,a pristine jungle environment that housed several monsters for the students to fight. 

Easily avoiding the monsters (she had had several lifetime's of fighting experience, she figured), she went to the over-look that was mostly used by love-struck couples, and leant on the tall wall that framed the area.

Sighing, she breathed in the warm, sticky air and stood for a while, just gazing out over the over-look and listening to the steady hum of cicadas and other insects droning near-by.

Thankfully, the spot was currently empty, so she could have some solitude.

_What am I doing? _She asked herself. _Why can't I seem to snap myself out of this depression?_

She could almost foresee what was going to happen with her life. Since she couldn't make herself better, and since she wasn't so depressed to do anything drastic, she would just continue feeling this emptiness day after day, until sometime in the future she would die, unfulfilled. She shivered suddenly, despite the warm weather.

And then the idea hit her slowly, forming in her mind. Why didn't she just end it? End her pathetic existence at Balamb Garden, running errands, performing the occasional lecture, and studying...throw all of that away, for of course she was miserable and tired of it all.

But could she do it? Could she go through with it? She knew in her heart that if she didn't force herself to do it now, then she never would.

Suddenly filled with a sense of purpose, she left the Training centre at a brisk pace, returning to her room to pick up her whip and attach it to her belt. She figured it was the only thing she would really need on her.

* * *

It was night when Quistis finally made herself climb the steps towards one of the Garden's highest points that branched off of the Auditorium area. At the top of the steps was a round enclosure, plain apart from a couple of benches, with a low fence that was the only thing between her and the dark, swirling sea some fifty meters below. A single warning sign near the top of the stairs told students to be careful. Quistis took a deep breath of the cold night air and walked to the edge of the surface, holding onto the flat railing of the fence and looking about her. 

The sky was dazzling, alight with stars, the light from the moon shining down onto the surface of the black sea. Quistis could actually see the giant rotors of the Garden below her some ways down, and imagined her body falling and getting torn apart in seconds.

The Garden changed course slightly to the left, heading towards land and some tall cliffs, and Quistis felt relieved. She had been hoping that the Garden would stray close to the cliffs that dotted the land around this area, and for once her luck had held out.

The cliffs loomed closer, and Quistis let her eyes fall to the jagged rocks that lined the base of them, sticking half out of the sea, the waves crashing against them in a white, foamy splendor.

If she jumped now and fell, the rocks would split her apart like a rag doll.

She took another deep breath and shakily climbed the small fence so that she stood perched balancing on the top-the top surface of the fence was wide enough so that she needn't worry about falling off straight away.

The cliffs came closer still, and her muscles tensed in preparation.

"Quistis!" A shrill voice screamed behind her. "No!"

Cursing, Quistis turned her head to see Xu struggling up the last of the steps, panting heavily and running across the open area towards her.  
"Stay back!" Quistis warned, causing Xu to halt a few meters away, her eyes wide.

"You don't know what you're doing!" Xu said worriedly, casting a fretful eye at Quistis' feet.

"I know exactly what I'm doing."

"No, you don't! You're grief-stricken and depressed, but that doesn't give you the excuse to do this!" Xu wailed, tears lining her eyes.

"What, should I just get down and resume my horrible life here?" Quistis snapped. She should have just jumped, she thought, and then she wouldn't have to listen to her friend trying to make her feel guilty.

"What about me?" Xu cried. "You can't just leave me here by myself! You're my best friend, Quistis!" The girl was crying now, beside herself with grief.

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen," Quistis said, causing Xu's eyes to widen even further despite her crying.  
"A...a _drama queen?_" She spluttered. "Look what you're about to do! Is it because you can't get boys to like you? Is it because you're...gay? Because if you are, and if you come down, maybe you and I can have a...a relationship. I mean, I'm not really gay or interested in women, but if that's what it takes to get you to live I'll do it!"

Quistis could not believe what she was hearing. "I'm not gay!" She exclaimed, and then stopped, realizing what else Xu had just said.  
"Did you say that you want me to come down so I can live?" She asked gently.

"Yes! Of course! Suicide is not the answer, think of what else life can offer you!" Xu pleaded, still tear-stricken.

Quistis started laughing then, causing her friend to take a step backwards out of shock.

"Suicide?"She repeated, giggling with mirth. "Xu, I'm not here to kill myself!"

Xu gaped up at her. "Then what are you doing? And how do you think it looks from over here?"

"I left you a note explaining what I was doing!" Quistis exclaimed. "In your room, where I knew you would find it. Didn't you read it?"

"No! I've been worried as hell and looking for you for the entire day, I haven't even been back to my room!" Xu defended.

Quistis sighed, but with humor, and looked back out towards the cliffs once more, which were right beside her now as the Garden continued its path down the coast.

"No wonder you're confused," she said. "I don't have much time to explain, but I've decided to leave Garden for a while. Right away. I need to get out of here, because I'm feeling suffocated."

"Then come down and wait until the Garden docks somewhere so you can leave!" Xu said, a confused look on her face.

Quistis shook her head. "I checked with Cid, and we're not scheduled for a stop for about another week. I can't wait that long, I'm already going crazy!"

"So what's all this got to do with you standing on a railing and looking like you're going to throw yourself into the sea-careful now," Xu warned, as a steady breeze blew by.

"Gee, Xu, you've been at Garden for how long now?" Quistis said gently, a smile on her face. "What's the _other _way that people can jump ship-_literally _jump ship?"

Xu's eyes widened. "Don't, it's too dangerous! Wait a week, I promise I'll make it fun for you if you hang around! One slip and your dead! Every day I'll do something different, like make a fool out of myself by speaking in gibberish when I'm teaching, or-"

"Goodbye for a while, Xu." Quistis said, cutting her off. "I'll be okay, I promise you that much."

And with that Quistis turned, the wind buffeting her body, and tensed her muscles in preparation as a cliff with a grassy top moved in front of her. She jumped forward into the air, her stomach falling as she experienced weightlessness and glimpsed the impossibly long fall below her.

_This was such a bad idea, _was the last thought that flew through her mind, and suddenly the ground was just before her, the grass waving in the wind. One of her feet touched down on the soft surface, and she fell to her knees right next to the edge of the cliff, her heart beating wildly.

She glanced up at the side of the Garden moving laboriously along, passing her cliff, and saw Xu run to the fence, her face ashen, and peer over at her with relief.

"Made it!" Quistis called over to her. "Take care of yourself, Xu!" She said with a wave.

Xu just stared over at her, and it seemed to Quistis that she was thinking hard about something.

"I'm...I'm coming too!" She declared, climbing up onto the rail.

"What?" Quistis cried in disbelief, having to shout now as Xu moved further away from her. "Don't! You idiot!" She yelled.

Moving as fast and carefully as she could along the tops of the cliffs, Quistis ran beside the Garden, shouting warnings and insults at Xu wildly, trying to get her to get down.

"You won't make it, you've already missed the safest spot to jump off!" She cried, but if anything her words seemed only to make Xu look more determined.

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing!" Xu returned, sticking out her tongue in concentration and eyeing the cliffs in front of her.

Quistis suddenly tripped, falling hard to the grass below her, and looked up in time to see Xu jump. She hadn't chosen a good spot, and the Garden had moved away from the cliffs slightly.

_Oh god, _Quistis thought, watching in horror.

Xu had missed the cliff, and she watched in absolute dread as her friend disappeared below the edge.

She made herself get up, her legs shaking, and moved to the edge of the cliff, already starting to cry. Her sobs came loud and fast, and the guilt she felt was unbearable.

"Stop being a drama queen and help me up!" Xu's voice suddenly came to her, and she gasped and looked over the side of the cliff to see her friend clinging grimly to the rocks.

Getting down on her knees, she reached out a hand and helped her struggle the rest of the way up and over the edge, where they both fell panting to the grass.

"Told you...I knew what...I was doing," Xu managed between breaths, chuckling.

"You're an idiot," Quistis chastised her, but she was smiling with relief. "What made you do that, anyway?" She asked her.  
"I told you, I wanted to come with you. You're going to be just wandering all over the land, right? Well, that sounds like fun! I've been with Garden for so long that I can't remember the last time I had a vacation." Xu said, smiling. "Plus, I figured I could help you get out of your slump at the same time."

Inside, Quistis felt relieved. She had spent all day planning on leaving Garden, and the one thing that had been clear to her was that it was going to be a lonely journey. But not anymore.

"Thanks," she breathed.

"Cid's going to kill us though, I hope you know." Xu added.

"Oh yes. One of his most prized students and a full-time instructor deciding to jump ship? He'll be _livid." _Quistis chuckled.

The two women stood up, and Quistis gazed about at her surroundings.

"I don't suppose you actually know where we are?" Xu asked dryly.

"Somewhere on the Western Continent."

"Oh, good. That helps."

Quistis fixed her friend with a look. "Hey, it was your idea to join me...I was just planning to walk until I reached the nearest town or interesting place." She said.

"Well let's go then, I'm already hungry," Xu whined, leading the way down the grassy side of the steep cliff.

Quistis could not help but smile. This was something new for her; something she knew she had to do. She had been stuck in the past for too long, and now it was time for her to make some new memories.

* * *

**To illustrate what I was trying to avoid with this fic, here are some out-takes that everyone can enjoy (except for Grandpa)!**

1) A Maiden saved from Death?

...She took another deep breath and shakily climbed the small fence so that she stood perched balancing on the top-the top surface of the fence was wide enough so that she needn't worry about falling off straight away.

The cliffs came closer still, and her muscles tensed in preparation.

"No!" Came a shout of alarm from behind her, and Quistis turned around to see Squall running up behind her, in all-out hero mode.

"Quistis, you can't do this!" He shouted, stopping a few meters behind her.

"But I must!" Quistis cried dramatically. "My life is not worth living, as nobody loves me!"

"Quistis, you're wrong! Because..._I _love you!" Squall declared.

"What? No, that can't be. You're with Rinoa, and you two are in love." Quistis protested, crying tears of loneliness and angst now.

"I'm only with her for the look of things!" Squall admitted. "But all this time I've been wanting you!"

"Oh, Squall! Take me now!" Quistis squealed, and Squall rushed forward in slow-motion, his arms thrust forward...only to trip, and barreled into Quistis, sending the two of them flying off of the edge and towards the sea below. But they were in each other's arms, and knew the joy of love, so they died happily and...together.

* * *

2) An unlikely Suitor!

...Suddenly filled with a sense of purpose, she left the Training centre at a brisk pace, returning to her room to pick up her whip and attach it to her belt. She figured it was the only thing she would really need on her.

Outside of her room, however, who should she bump into but the blonde antagonist, Seifer!

"Yo, watch where you're going!" He told her coolly, smoothing back his hair with one hand.

"Get stuffed Seifer, I hate you so much that I think I'm going to throw up in my mouth just by looking at you for too long!" Quistis snapped at him.

She truly hated him, and if he was the last person in the world, she wouldn't be with him, she thought.  
Seifer looked hurt. "But instructor! Erm, I mean, _ex-_instructor! I was just coming to your room to give you _these_." And with that he produced a bouquet of roses from behind his back.

Quistis blinked at them. "Why are you giving me these?" She asked, taking the roses from him.

Seifer looked embarrassed. "The thing is, even though I hate you and am glad that you got fired from your job as an instructor, I also am secretly...in love with you." He confessed.

Quistis stared at him. "That's ridiculous! Why would I ever want to be with you after everything you've done to me?"

"Because we have this chemistry thing happening?" Seifer suggested.

Quistis shrugged. "Fair enough."

And she jumped into his arms, smooching him all over, and the two returned to her room for a night of unlikely but wild passion.

* * *

**For my first Final Fantasy VIII story, I wanted to focus on a character that does not usually get much attention. There are heaps of good fan-fics out there about Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and even Irvine, but only several about Quistis.  
A confession: I don't really like Quistis as a character, and never really usedher in the game. Not because her personality is bad or anything, but just because Square did not give her much of a background, a love interest, or much to do in the story, so I ended up using other characters instead.**

So, I figured that I'd try my hand out at writing a fic with Quistis. I started out by thinking about a good person to pair her up with,romance-wise, and then realised that therewas _no-one._  
If you read my two out-takes just above this, you'll see me poking fun at Quistis having a romance with both Squall and Seifer, who she is most commonly paired up with. I just think that there's not much chance of this happening, if you think about it. Squall has Rinoa, and it's made pretty clear that they're inseperable in the game, and I can't see a girl like Quistis being with someone like Seifer.

So, at first at least, Quistis will be without a pairing. While she still likes Squall, she accepts that there's no chance of anything happening.

I tried not to make this cliche', and didn't want to use the plotline that goes something like: girl tries to kill herself because boy doesn't like her, and then realises that boy does like her, and all is well.  
Shortly after starting this story I also realised that Xu is a perfect companion and friend for Quistis, so I'm going to have this story focus on her as well.

I don't expect this to get that much attention, but if you do read this, please leave a review about the story, or the out-takes or anything! There should be more to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 of A Woman Left Alone. More out-takes after the chapter, I don't own any of these characters, except one.**

* * *

The night was chilly as Quistis and Xu stepped carefully around the trees of the small forest they had entered, and Quistis found herself wishing that she had grabbed something warm to wear before she left Garden. 

Beside her, Xu was muttering angrily to herself and rubbing her arms with her hands, already sick of the cold and sick of walking. They had talked little for the small amount of time they had been traveling, and Quistis was still feeling a pang of guilt that Xu had decided to join her.

"Okay, stop," the girl said suddenly, walking in front of Quistis and putting her hands on her hips. "I want to know what your plan actually is now, before I freeze to death."

"I told you," Quistis said calmly. "I'm just heading for a town, where I'll decide what to do from there."

"That's _it?_" Xu said, astonished. "How are you going to even survive? We have no money, no spare clothes, I don't have my weapon on me, and you don't even know what the hell you're doing, by the sound of it."

"Hey, _I'm _usually the pessimistic one, remember?" Quistis joked weakly, trying to avoid responding to her observations.

Xu just stared at her. "Quistis, this is so _unlike _you! Normally you have everything worked out-what you're doing, how you're going to do it...but this is just insane! Part of the reason I came along was because I thought you had some master plan in mind that you were going to try to accomplish..."

Quistis sagged against the trunk of a tree suddenly, realizing that Xu was right-what she was doing was crazy.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she admitted slowly, the words hard for her to say. "I just thought that if I did something spontaneous for a change something good would come my way- I mean, how I was before, calculating all of my actions and carefully acting out my life wasn't exactly working out for me, was it?"

She could feel the tears swelling up unbidden behind her eyes, but forced them away. As close as she was to Xu, she had never cried in front of her before, and didn't want to now. A part of her- the cold, unfeeling part- thought that tears made you appear weak.

She had never really worked out where she had developed that impression from; maybe it was growing up in an orphanage that did it, but regardless it was one of her personality traits that made her unapproachable to most people.

Xu's expression softened. "Well, at least you admitted to me that you don't have a clue. That will make it easier going on, I guess." She paused, and seemed to remember something. "Oh, sorry about before...you know, when I asked if you were gay. I didn't really think you were, but that would kind of explain why you're so unwilling to open up to people, so...um, yeah." She looked embarrassed.

Quistis smiled. "That's okay."

"So, what do you want out of this, anyway? Romance? Adventure? Excitement?" Xu asked her.

Quistis shrugged, and then smiled once more. "Just a life, I guess."

* * *

They continued walking through the forest, Quistis lost in thought. On reflection, she wished she had left a note or a message for her friends back in the Garden, but the note she wrote to Xu had been the only one. 

She sighed, thinking that the reason she had just taken off without alerting anyone might have been because she _wanted _them to feel worried about her, and to think about her. But that was a pretty childish thing to do-still, it was done now, and she couldn't undo it.

"Hey," Xu said suddenly, halting in her tracks and holding a hand up for silence, even though Quistis hadn't been talking. "You hear that?"

Quistis strained her ears, and a faint hissing sound came to her. Calmly, she removed her whip from her belt and unfurled it-the weapon was named "Save the Queen", and was pretty much the most powerful whip in the world. She had kept it close to her after she had helped Squall defeat the Sorceress, but hadn't had to actually use it much.

Xu noticed her action, and her eyes widened. "What, is something going to attack us?"  
"Probably," Quistis said with a shrug.

"Well, that's all right for _you, _but what about me?" The girl cried. "I don't have much fighting experience-well, compared to you, anyway. I'm normally stuck in Balamb Garden, issuing orders. And besides, I don't have a weapon!"

Quistis looked around at their surroundings, and then smiled and pointed.

"There's a stick over there-looks pretty sturdy," she said, trying not to laugh.

"A _stick,_" Xu repeated, shaking her head. She walked over to a tree regardless and picked up a long, sturdy stick up from its base, looking at it with a grimace.

At least the length was good, Quistis thought. Xu would be able to use it almost like a staff.

Xu walked back over to her, swinging the stick experimentally, and the hissing noise suddenly got louder.

The two women stared in the direction of the noise, and Xu let out a disgusted shriek as a large, fat snake slithered around a tree and into view.

The snake was huge, standing upright at a height taller than a human, and was dark green in color.

"An Anacondaur," Quistis mused. It was funny- at one point the snake might have filled her with fear, but after everything she had been through the snake now held little threat to her.

"Eww, I hate snakes," Xu complained.

The snake boldly advanced on them, hissing threateningly, its eyes glowing red in the darkness.

Quistis leaped forward, swinging her whip, and sent it cracking down on the snakes head, making it reel back in surprise.

The snake spat suddenly, sending poisonous venom towards Quistis in a deadly spray. The girl rolled forward, the venom striking against a trunk of a tree harmlessly.

She got to her feet and turned to the snake once more, only to find that it was slithering forward towards Xu, who had remained in the same spot.

Xu swung the stick around with all her might, catching the snake on the side of its head as it moved to strike. The blow fazed the snake for a few seconds, but then it lunged forward and wrapped itself around Xu, squeezing tightly.

"H-help!" Xu managed to cry, the air in her body being pushed out of her.

Panic gripped Quistis. Anacondaur's were mostly relatively harmless, unless they spat venom on you, or got you trapped in their death grip. Then, you were in trouble.

Normally, she would quickly cast some magic on the snake right away, but since she didn't have any Guardian Forces equipped these days, she could not use magic. Whipping the snake wouldn't do any good either-it wouldn't let go of Xu until they were both dead.

Frantically, as the snake continued to suffocate Xu, she reached down inside herself for something she knew she didn't need a Guardian Force for-her limit break. Once a limit break is learned, a person never forgets it; though usually a limit break can only be used when a person takes a physical beating in battle, as a last resort.

She hoped though that the emotional importance of the current situation, and the fact that she was trying to use a low-level limit break, would allow her to use one.

She felt a tingling in her body, and her heart leapt. _Yes! _

The sensation traveled up through her body, until it reached her eyes, where a slight burning sensation began in the middle of her forehead.

She made sure that she was aiming her body towards the head of the snake, which was to one side of Xu's body, and released the limit break.

A laser shot forward from the middle of her forehead, through the air in a straight line, where it hit the snake on its head, going right through it and scorching the snake powerfully.

It let out a shriek of pain and immediately let go of Xu, where it dropped to the ground, dead.

The laser disappeared, and Quistis staggered to her knees on the ground.

She felt exhausted, drained, but elated.

She had not used any of her limit breaks in a long time, and she had almost forgotten how powerful even the weak ones were.

Xu stared down at the snake, brushing herself off and glaring at it. Quistis could see that she was trying to put on a brave face.  
"Wow. Way to go, Quistis." She said. "Though maybe if I had a proper weapon it wouldn't have grabbed me like that."

Quistis stood up, laughing. "Yeah, I'm sure it wouldn't have. You've fought them before, haven't you?"

Xu nodded. "A couple, yeah. That's why I feel a bit embarrassed, letting it incapacitate me like that."

"Don't worry about it, it was partly my fault for letting it get past me. Anyway, let's keep walking. We probably still have a ways to go yet." Quistis said, feeling somehow slightly better then she had felt before the snake had attacked.

Maybe because it showed her that she was still in control of a lot of things, she reflected as she and Xu continued walking. Because, even though her life was sort of shit, at least she could take care of herself in battle.

Xu must have been busy thinking herself, because she suddenly spoke up.

"Hey, does that mean I'm a part of your new party?" She asked.

"Huh?" Quistis said, taken aback.

"You know...like how you were part of Squall's party, but now that it's just the two of us, it's sort of like an all new party, right?" She said, hesitatingly.

Quistis thought about it. "I suppose you have a point. I didn't even realise that, if I'm out fighting on my own, doing my own thing, I'm no longer really part of Squall's old clan anymore, am I? Well, none of us are, really."

Xu nodded, and then smiled slyly. "Hehe, if I continue to fight alongside you like this-you know, maybe get a better weapon (as she was still carrying the stick with her), I might soon become famous myself."

"Oh come on, I'm not _famous_."

"Of course you are! All six of you guys are. You know, saving the world kind of makes you important," Xu said sarcastically.

"You sound jealous," Quistis teased. "And Squall is a lot more famous then I am."

"Well yeah, he might be more famous, but he doesn't like it much, does he?" Xu said.

"No, Squall just wants to be left alone," Quistis sighed, and then lapsed into silence. If Xu noticed her love-sick expression, she thankfully didn't say anything about it.

* * *

A few hours later they finally made it out of the forest, tired and frustrated. It was still night, and the moon shone down on the endless fields that now stretched out in front of them. 

"Who doesn't bring any _potions _with them on a trip?" Xu complained bitterly, for they had ran into a couple more Anacondaurs in the forest, resulting in scuffles in the dark and some minor wounds.

Before Quistis could respond, Xu noticed the barren landscape around them, and groaned in exasperation.

"Oh, come_ on_! Quistis, we've been walking for hours! And we're nowhere near anything!" She cried. "At this rate, it'll take days to get anywhere!"

Quistis was silent, but inside she felt worried. They should have reached some sort of civilization by now, and she felt sick of walking.

"Where are we trying to get to, anyway? Come on, you must have _some _idea of where we're going," Xu prodded.

"Timber," Quistis reluctantly admitted.  
"Timber?" Xu exploded, which Quistis almost found comical. "That would be miles away! Oh, why didn't I stay at Garden?" She said to herself, clutching her head.

Quistis chuckled at her reaction. "I didn't know you were such a softie," she teased. "The way you boss your students around, you'd think that you would be able to cope a bit of a walk."

Xu glared at her. "That's all for show, part of the power-play. Really, I just want good food, good sleep, and to drive everywhere."

Quistis laughed once more, looking around the fields and trying to decide how far away from Timber they were. She had not been in the area for ages, so her calculations would be slightly off.

Something on the ground glinted off the moonlight, drawing her eyes to it. Train tracks.

"You might get your wish of driving," Quistis muttered, pointing out the tracks to Xu.

The girl's eyes widened with delight. "Yes! The train! There should be a stop near-by, even way out here, and that way we can..." She suddenly let out a scream of frustration. "We can't do anything, because we can't get on! We have no money, remember?"

Quistis felt stupid. "Oh yeah," she mumbled. "Well, I suppose we'll just have to walk, then."

Xu groaned, and shook her head. "No. I refuse. Let's find the station, and then we'll get on somehow, without money. I mean, _your _famous enough, and I'm an instructor at Garden, so we'll just make up some story and get on."

"You seem awfully confident." Quistis said. "I don't really want to, it probably won't work..."

"Too bad, because I'm doing it," Xu snapped, walking on beside the track at a brisk pace. Quistis hurried to catch up.

* * *

After another hour of walking, they finally reached the train stop, which was simply a raised, bare platform set beside the tracks in the middle of nowhere. A rusty, old bench stood on the platform, which Xu sank gratefully into with a sigh. 

Quistis sat next to her, glad to be off her feet at last.

The sky was lightening, heralding the coming dawn.

"Hopefully the train won't be long," Xu muttered, her head back, her chin up and her eyes closed.

"They won't let us on anyway," Quistis warned.

"We'll see."

After only ten minutes of waiting, Quistis spotted the train in the distance, heading towards them. Xu got up with a whoop, Quistis getting up with less excitement; she still felt that, with no money, they simply would not be let on.

The train slowed, and then finally stopped next to their platform. It wasn't anything flashy, with the paint peeling here and there, but it had been in service for a while and was reliable enough, Quistis figured.

A door of the train slid open, and a young man leaned out with a disinterested look, his eyes skimming over them.

"It's one hundred gil, wherever you're going," he muttered, stifling a yawn.

Quistis looked at Xu, who was grinning prettily at the man. Quistis rolled her eyes to herself-was Xu just going to try and flirt her way onto the train for free?

"We need to get to Timber," Xu explained. "But we have no money."

The man stared at her, his brown eyes confused. "You have no money." He repeated.

"Yes, that's right. So we can't pay you, but...well, do you know who _she _is?" Xu asked him, and to Quistis' horror pointed at her.

The man looked at her quizzically, and then after a while a look of recognition dawned on his face.

"You're Quistis!" He practically yelled at her, while she smiled through gritted teeth. "I read about you when Timber Maniacs did a five-page article on you!"

"Oh?" Quistis stammered, not knowing what to say. She knew nothing about the article."That's, um, good."

The train man's eyes flicked down to her belt. "You even have that famous whip with you! Oh gee, and here I thought today was going to be a bore!"

Xu jumped in. "Well, if you let us on, I'm sure Quistis would be happy to give you an autograph, or something like that."

_I wouldn't be happy to, actually,_ Quistis thought, but saw she had no say in the matter.

The man thought for a bit, and then seemed to come to the conclusion that the risk of being fired was worth an autograph.

"Yes, of course, come right in. I have a cousin who is just crazy about you, Miss Quistis," he rattled on, standing aside so that they could step up into the train.

Thankfully, Xu had discarded her stick before they boarded the train.

"Where do we sit?" Xu asked the man, still smiling.

"Anywhere that's free. There's a nice seat over there," the man recommended, indicating with his head.

Xu thanked the man and they moved down the aisle and slipped into a seat. Quistis noticed that the compartment was almost empty, with only a family consisting of two parents and three children situated half-way down the compartment, and a couple of single people here and there, all looking tired and bored.

To Quistis' dismay, the young man had moved down the aisle with them, and now stood next to their seat, nervously fidgeting.

The train started with a jolt, and they began to slowly pick up speed.  
"I haven't been on a train for a while," Xu said to Quistis and the man, trying to start up a conversation. "How long have you worked here, er, mister...?"

"The name's Barry. I've just been working here as a temp. job for about a month now. I don't really like trains, and all I mostly do is collect the money from the passengers, but I need the money myself, you know? What I really want to be is a writer. That's why I read everything Timber Maniacs publish." He said, his words coming out fast.

He kept looking at Quistis, to see her reaction, so she had to keep smiling and nodding, when really she just wished that he would leave them alone, for she didn't feel up to any conversation.

Still, she thought, he _had _let them on for free, so she supposed that this torture must be part of their payment.

Barry had mentioned Timber Maniacs twice now, and Quistis remembered that they were the world's largest and most respected publishing firm in the world, and, as the name pointed out, they resided in Timber. She had even been to their office once or twice, and remembered that Squall's father had worked for them at one time in his life.

_Squall. _Just thinking about him made her feel uneasy, so she tried to pay polite attention to what Barry was saying to keep her mind off of him.

"Never thought I'd actually meet anyone _famous_ while doing the job, though," he was saying. Quistis glanced at Xu and realised that her traitorous friend wasn't even paying attention anymore, and was instead gazing out of the window at the passing scenery.

"I wouldn't say I'm _that _famous," Quistis said, with a small chuckle. She was feeling somewhat self-conscious.

"Oh come now, don't be modest!" Barry cried. "Most of the world must know your face by now- and the faces of your friends, of course. I half expected to see the whole gang waiting out there when I recognized you, but I suppose they must be busy with other things."

Quistis' face burned, and she tried to look natural, thinking that if she were to look downcast, the train man would see that she had made herself an outcast.

"Yes, we're all quite busy," she said calmly. "I'm just taking a small trip with my friend here."

Xu turned back from the window for a brief moment, and smiled at Barry. "I'm Xu, by the way."

Barry nodded his hello, and then seemed to remember something. "Oh! I'll be right back, okay? I have the perfect thing for you to sign..."

And with that he scampered off down the aisle.

Straight away Quistis turned to Xu with a glare. "I don't believe in throwing my apparent _celebrity _status around like this," she hissed. "Now I have to sit here for the entire trip and be worshiped by someone I don't even know. It makes me uncomfortable."

Xu shrugged. "Sorry, but it was probably the only way we could get on. And you haven't even been out of Balamb Garden much, so sooner or later you would have had to experience this."

"I try to keep away from it."  
"I know. You're just like Squall." Xu chastised.

Quistis' heart thudded faster, and she told herself to calm down. Just because Xu had pointed out how alike her and Squall were, she had gone all love-sick again. This was just ridiculous, she thought.

The train clattered on, and then Barry was back once more, eagerly holding a magazine in his hands.

"I thought I had this stored back there somewhere," he said. "It's the magazine that ran the article on you. Look."

And he showed her the page with the article. Quistis looked down into her own face, as the magazine had opted to print a large photograph of her that took up an entire page.

Her blue eyes looked piercingly towards her, and her expression was somewhat cold and formal.

Still, she reflected that that was probably how she usually looked. She smiled up at Barry.

"I hope the article's more flattering than the picture," she joked.

"Um, kind of," Barry said, taking the magazine away from her face and thumbing through the pages. "Though I think they were just a bit ticked off that you had refused to give them an interview."

Quistis vaguely remembered a reporter barging into her room one day, and she telling him to piss off.

"I'll read a bit to you: '...out of all the members that make up the party that brought down the Sorceress, Quistis Trepe is the most aloof and precocious. Becoming a Seed cadet at the age of fifteen, this former instructor of Balamb Garden has shown aptitude at an early age, and developed a friendship with Squall Leonhart before any of his other companions. There has even been talk about a secret love affair between the two. However, Quistis must find it hard to bond to most people, as she has never had a serious relationship before...' Um, maybe that wasn't the best bit to read out," Barry admitted, looking sheepish.

Quistis forced a smile onto her face, but inside she felt anger and resentment. It was like the article had thrown open her pathetic life for the whole world to read about, making her sound like a cold, uncaring person who didn't give a stuff about anyone but herself.

Is that how she always appeared to people? She wondered miserably.

"You're much nicer in real life, and the article does go on to talk about your fighting skills and abilities," Barry said frantically, trying to undo the damage.

"It's okay," Quistis forced herself to say. "It's probably my fault for not doing the interview and presenting the real me to the world...what did you want me to sign?" She asked.

"The front of the magazine, if you wouldn't mind," Barry said, handing over the magazine and a pen to her. "That way, if I ever _do _become a writer, I'll have something to show off to the other journalists already."

Quistis smiled and quickly signed the cover of the magazine. As an after-thought, she wrote, "To Barry, the kindest train conductor. I hope your dream of becoming a writer comes true."

She felt kind of lame and corny writing it, but when she handed the magazine and the pen back to him, he took one look at the cover and beamed hugely.  
"Oh, thank you very much! When I become a writer I'll be sure to do an article on what kind of person you _really _are. Hey, maybe I could even interview you?" He added hopefully.  
She smiled. "Yes, maybe."

He grinned at her once more and moved away, and Xu patted her on the arm.

"See? This celebrity business isn't that hard," she soothed.

Quistis sighed and shook her head. "I'll never get used to it. And that article? That kind of hurt."

"I know!" Xu agreed. "A lot of it was true, but they didn't have to put it so bluntly."

Quistis sat back in her seat with another sigh, and Xu resumed looking out the window, somewhat dreamily.

This was her chance to do something for her life that will make her a completely different person, she told herself. At least, that's what she hoped.

She glanced out the window, and saw the town of Timber pop into view. They were almost there.

* * *

**Out-takes time!**

**1) The first fight**

The snake boldly advanced on them, hissing threateningly, its eyes glowing red in the darkness.

Suddenly, from behind some bushes, an orchestra popped up and started playing the Final Fantasy VIII battle theme.

"Aww, yeah! It's on now!" Xu cried.

"I love this music," Quistis said. "I mean, it's a bit weird having an orchestra follow you everywhere just so they can always play the battle theme, but- ow! Hey! The snake bit me! And it wasn't even his turn!"

"I'll get him!" Xu declared. She pulled out a poke-ball from nowhere, and cried, "Pikachu, I choose you!"

She threw the poke-ball, where it landed in front of the confused snake and opened in a blinding light. Pikachu then stood there cutely, looking up at the giant snake.  
"Pika?" It asked, cocking its head.  
The snake then gobbled him up, making Xu's jaw drop.

"No! My Pikachu!" She sobbed.

"What did you expect?" Quistis snapped. "You just made a small rodent go up against a giant snake."

"Oh, yeah. Should have probably thought a bit more about it before I did that, huh?" Xu admitted.

"Anyway, it's my turn. Take _that_, snake!" Quistis said, and whipped the snake in the head.

The snake growled angrily and suddenly turned on the orchestra players who were to one side, leaping on the violinist and swallowing her whole.  
"I say!" The conductor said, using his stick...thingy...to poke the snake in the eye.

The snake hissed angrily, trying to swallow the trombonist, while Xu and Quistis looked on in confusion.

"We should probably do something." Quistis mused.

"Yes. Like _this,_" Xu said, and then pulled out a shotgun and blasted the snake.

After a moment's silence, Quistis spoke up: "So...you had that on you the entire time?"  
"Well, yeah."

"Probably would have been more useful using it on the snake _before _he ate up my entire orchestra."

"Oh, _right_. Sorry, I just don't think sometimes!" Xu laughed, embarrassed.

The bushes rustled, and to their surprise a half-dead pianist crawled out, bleeding from multiple wounds. He dragged himself across the dirt to his keyboard, managed to stand on one leg (the other had been chewed off), and heroically played the victory theme before collapsing.

"They're pretty dedicated, aren't they?" Xu observed.

* * *

**2) Barry, the nice train conductor.**

"You're Quistis!" He practically yelled at her, while she smiled through gritted teeth. "I read about you when Timber Maniacs did a five-page article on you!"

"Yes, she's Quistis, and is famous!" Xu said, grinning. "Will you let us on for free?"

"Piss off." The man snarled, and the door slid closed in their faces.

A second later, the door opened once more, but only so Barry could spit in Quistis' astonished face.

* * *

**3) Another..._romantic _twist.**

She glanced out the window, and saw the town of Timber pop into view. They were almost there.  
"Quistis!" A voice suddenly boomed, and she looked down the aisle, startled, to see Squall marching towards her, his clothes torn and looking disheveled.

"Squall!" She exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"My love for you has no bounds, and as soon as I realised that you were missing I jumped off of Garden and managed to track you down." He said dramatically.

Xu sniggered. "How lame! You don't see any loser following _me _around like a pathetic puppy!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Xu!" Said another voice, and Nida, Seed member and driver of the Garden, bounded down the aisle, a bunch of flowers in his hand.

"Ugh! What are you _doing?" _Xu asked, sticking out her tongue in revulsion.

"Confessing my love for you! I too was worried about you, so I tracked you down so that we could get married and live happily together!" Nida said, beaming.

"Dream on! Come on Quistis, let's move to another compartment," Xu said, and the two women moved off down the aisle in a huff.

Rejected, Squall and Nida stood there, their shoulders slumped; Nida's flowers also drooped sadly.

"What do we do now?" Squall asked, sighing.

Nida shrugged. "Go home, I guess."  
He looked at Squall.

Squall looked back.

With animal ferocity they suddenly embraced and began to tongue-wrestle passionately, sucking at each other's faces and moaning.

Barry, who had come back to check on his favourite celebrity, stared in horror at the sight before him, and had to run back to his small compartment to throw up for an hour straight.

* * *

**Ahaha, couldn't help but throw in another unlikely romance there. I also like how random the second out-take is.**

Thanks to everyone who left a review! They were all very much appreciated. I didn't expect much attention for this story, but four reviews was pretty good. Not that I don't want more, but...hehe.  
I'm sorry if not a lot happened in this chapter, but I'm building up to the story, and this was always going to be a character-driven story. I also kept having to look up a lot of Final Fantasy VIII facts that I had forgotten.

Someone mentioned that Xu was probably a bit too happy in the first chapter. I guess they have a point, but I did try to balance out her character by making her give Quistis a lecture at the cafe and stuff, so I didn't think she was _that _happy. In this chapter I made her more sarcastic and grumpy, haha. Maybe she just hates the outdoors.

More reviews would be very nice.

Finally, I want to dedicate this chapter to my girlfriend, who turns twenty today. Without her helping out in my life I wouldn't have time to write, and all that mushy-stuff. 


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